violator
2:10 Fri Jul 5
Re: My neighbours massive fucking tree
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Northern Sold 2:08 Fri Jul 5
Same here, and the cunt actually thanked me for the amount of sun he now gets in his garden
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Northern Sold
2:08 Fri Jul 5
Re: My neighbours massive fucking tree
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Blokes garden that backed onto ours his tree started growing all over me shed wall etc... I just bought a chainsaw and spent half a day taking the branches off... nice bit of firewood... everyone's a winner...
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bruuuno
2:02 Fri Jul 5
Re: My neighbours massive fucking tree
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Mini Savoy cabbages tumbling from his urethra
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Sven Roeder
1:16 Fri Jul 5
Re: My neighbours massive fucking tree
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It’s about 80% proof this piss
Some is almost pure cabbage vodka
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gph
1:13 Fri Jul 5
Re: My neighbours massive fucking tree
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I think trees like piss.
It's full of plant nutrients. Grass can sometimes be overwhelmed by it, too much of a good thing in one place, but trees, especially massive fucking trees, are a lot bigger than grass
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bruuuno
1:04 Fri Jul 5
Re: My neighbours massive fucking tree
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Ag Ag sven
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Sven Roeder
1:00 Fri Jul 5
Re: My neighbours massive fucking tree
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Get Hammer & Pickle around to piss under it
Alternatively enjoy your free shaded back garden.
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arsegrapes
12:40 Fri Jul 5
Re: My neighbours massive fucking tree
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Make sure if you stoke a massive fire and fireworks on Bonfire night that it and the fireworks don’t get out of hand, otherwise you will only have end up getting the blame.
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Hammer and Pickle
12:18 Fri Jul 5
Re: My neighbours massive fucking tree
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Carpenters don’t want to kill the tree any more than they want to lose their jobs, gph.
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geoffpikey
12:16 Fri Jul 5
Re: My neighbours massive fucking tree
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Plant a bomb.
Then give him a vinyl copy of Five Leaves Left by Nick Drake.
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ChesterRd
12:13 Fri Jul 5
Re: My neighbours massive fucking tree
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If it's growing over your land then just have a civilised chat with the neighbour and invite him around so he can see the problem. Maybe offer to go halves on getting a proper tree guy around to lop it. If you are in the area I can recommend this guy. Not too expensive but very professional, insured and knows what he is doing..
https://www.essexgroundsmen.co.uk/
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Tomshardware
12:13 Fri Jul 5
Re: My neighbours massive fucking tree
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The sun always shines on TV.
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gph
12:12 Fri Jul 5
Re: My neighbours massive fucking tree
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"People who would actually want to kill any tree are, quite frankly, not people."
My mind is boggled.
*looks guiltily at wooden furniture*
I've paid for not people to carry out so many tree murders
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,
12:10 Fri Jul 5
Re: My neighbours massive fucking tree
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Troy, in law you are permitted to cut away any part of the tree that overhangs your property boundaries. You can offer the cuttings to the trees owner but he has the right to refuse them.
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bruuuno
12:09 Fri Jul 5
Re: My neighbours massive fucking tree
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Neighbour of mine has a cunt of a flower tree to which I’m highly allergic when it blooms for two weeks every year. The other night during a non stop sneezing fit I was ready to go round and cut it down
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White Pony
12:04 Fri Jul 5
Re: My neighbours massive fucking tree
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1. Drill a small hole deep into the trunk
2. Siphon some Cillit Bang with your mouth deep into the centre of the trunk via a plastic tube
3. Bang, and the tree is gone.
Disclaimer: you may also die
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Hammer and Pickle
12:00 Fri Jul 5
Re: My neighbours massive fucking tree
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People who would actually want to kill any tree are, quite frankly, not people.
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riosleftsock
11:59 Thu Jul 4
Re: My neighbours massive fucking tree
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The copper nals thing works, but it takes years and years.
The correct way to kill a tree is to remove a 6 to 12" strip of bark all round the tree near its base.
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Fresh
11:57 Thu Jul 4
Re: My neighbours massive fucking tree
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Have got a similar situation mate
My neighbor has a 60ft Ilyundi tree at the bottom of his garden and it blocks so much sun and we get shit loads of shade on sunny days.
Plus it’s bloody eye sore and I think one day it will come crashing down when winds are strong. Have approached him once but they say they like the privacy it provides from houses behind
They’ll only cut it down when it’s too late and it comes crashing down
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Syd Puddefoot
11:50 Thu Jul 4
Re: My neighbours massive fucking tree
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If I may venture a sensible suggestion.
There is a foundation depth calculator here http://fdc.labcwarranty.co.uk/
that gives guidence for new builds. If you enter the correct details and the depth indicated is greater than say 1.5 metres the chances are that his own foundations are not that deep and his house may be at risk of subsidence. If the same applies to your house and any damage can be proven to be caused by the tree he may be laible under nuisance laws.
If either applies you may scare him enough to cut it down, especially with a financial contribution.
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LeroysBoots
11:49 Thu Jul 4
Re: My neighbours massive fucking tree
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Invite him around for a drink, then go in the garden and show him how bad it is from your side
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